04.04.25 Weekly Sabbath Practice: Bedtime Affirmations

Words of truth for the kid in your life and the kid in your heart.

Mariko here. This week we’ve got an easy-to-integrate sacred rhythm that is time-tested and well-loved in my household. Like most things that are a hit with kids, it is both embarrassingly simple and surprisingly nourishing for the adults involved.

This week’s Practice: Bedtime Affirmations

At bedtime, after my husband or I turn out the light and before we leave the kids’ rooms, we do “Words” (I wish I could insert an audio clip of my four-year-old reminding me “Mom! Mom! Don’t foawget woawds!’)

I say true and beautiful things about them and they repeat. That’s it. That’s the practice.

But you should see their little faces as they snuggle in and repeat after me. (“I am brave. I have purpose. I choose kindness.”) You should feel the ineffable peace that steals into the room. You should see me, choking up - over five years into this practice- every time I do it. You just have to try it.

If words of affirmation flow easily for you, feel free to wing it! If you need a little structure, read on!

Bedtime Affirmations How To:

1. Take a moment to settle in, take a deep breath and reflect: what bubbles up? 

2. Think about what makes you unique. (“I am a problem solver”) Think about what your most beloved and trustworthy friends would say about you. (“I am thoughtful”) Think about qualities/strengths you aspire** to develop (“I assume good intent from others”)

3. If you’re writing these for kids, use these same steps. What makes your kiddo special? (“I am creative”) How would you describe their best qualities? (“I am truthful.”) At what skills or strengths do they have to work hard? (“I don’t give up when I make mistakes.”) Write these down in first person, so your child can repeat.

4. If you’re feeling stuck, check out Additional Resources below

5. Write down your phrases (I keep a running note on my phone and I like to do 3-5 each night, often repeating important ones!)

6. At bedtime***, say the phrases aloud*. If practicing on your own, consider speaking into the mirror. If practicing with kids, have them repeat after you.

   

   *There is so much fascinating research going on in the field of neuroscience about how our brains and bodies respond to the words we say aloud. MRI data scans actually show that our brains can rewire themselves to reinforce repeated positive or negative statements. (Truly, just google neuroplasticity + verbal affirmation. )

   **One interesting tidbit is that your affirmations can be aspirational. So, you can choose words that might not feel true right now, but you hope to be true. AND YOUR BRAIN WILL REWIRE TO ACCOMMODATE. So you could say “I react calmly to disrespect.” or “I am present with my loved ones” and watch how your brain and body rise to the challenge.

   ***Affirmations don’t have to happen at bedtime! Maybe it’s a breakfast practice, a carpool line practice, a walk-around-the-neighborhood practice. However, I will say that bedtime works especially well for older kids, because they have the cover of darkness for that tricky vulnerability :)

   

   If you’re a parent or caregiver, using affirmations with kids, I hope you all feel nourished by this practice. Until our kids are old enough to untangle the nuance of an intangible divinity, they’re stuck with us. Like it or not, we are their closest representative, their best imagination of the Divine. Affirmations are one of the best ways I’ve found to instill in my kids a trust that God is for them and that my posture towards them is informed by God’s love. Affirmations remind them that they are loved for who they are and not what they do or don’t do. And isn’t trust the foundation of all sustainable relationships?

   If you’re an adult, using affirmations in your own sacred rhythms, read on for some more tips and insights.

   Additional Resources:

   Truly, any positive words will do. But if you need some inspiration, check out:

   ✽ p.41 of The Book of Belonging for kid-friendly phrases

   ✽ Galatians 6 for the fruit of the Spirit
   ✽The 8 C’s of Internal Family Systems (where are my IFS pals at!?)

Click through to go get your goodies

This week paid subscribers get:
✍️🎨A Coloring Sheet from Today’s Practice
🙌💖Affirmation Cards (pre-filled and blank)
📅🕊️Week 05 of the Lent Guide

✨ P.S. Our Lent Study is underway! ✨

Even if you don’t observe Lent, this seven-week study is designed for kind and contemplative grownups looking for a richer reading experience and a sense of community (check out our group chat!) It offers a read-through of The Book of Belonging with layered practices formatted for both individual and group study. If you’re curious, this is a great time to join us. This week’s theme is Embodied Love - Upgrade to access!